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***
It was a long call. Joy finished dressing, finished packing her clothes, and then, well aware of the dwindling time, packed Tyler’s suitcase for him. Because they were late and they were a team and she loved him. It may be selfish but she did. She left out a set of clean clothes, a dress shirt and pants. She held up a matching tie. No. He wouldn’t need it. She packed it away. On top. In case, he did.
“Joy.”
She felt his presence before he spoke but was too embarrassed to acknowledge it. “I laid out some stuff for you.” Since he was naked. He must be. After… “Hope that’s alright.”
“Hon.”
This time she heard the emotion. Joy looked up. He was braced against the doorframe, a towel around his waist, a shattered look on his face. Nausea, fear burned her throat. “What is it?” She flew to his side, stopping only an arm’s length away, unsure. Please let it not be…
“Ken.”
Ken? “Your V-P of Sales?” The always joking older man Tyler sometimes dragged into All American with him.
He nodded. “My friend. He…” He turned his palms upward.
She clasped them. His hands trembled. He trembled. She brought him close, trying to absorb the pain, calm him. “Is he?” She didn’t want to say it.
“No!” Tyler pressed her face into his bare chest. “No.” Less emotional. “He’s in emergency. Heart pains. They think…”
Heart pains. A heart attack. The man was in his mid 40’s with three kids, a wife. “Will he be okay?”
“I don’t know.” A bellow of frustration.
Over not knowing, not being with his friend. Apprehension sliced through Joy. She was losing him. Already. “Where is he now?”
“In Buffalo. He was visiting his in-laws, shoveling the snow. He collapsed. Just like that. In the snow. He…”
Joy closed her eyes, holding Tyler, wanting to hold him forever, to never let him go but she knew what she had to do. She couldn’t be selfish. “Then you go to Buffalo.”
“Joy.” He stepped away from her.
“He needs you.” She couldn’t look at him. He’d see the sacrifice in her eyes. “Is there anything you need me to do?” Ask me to go with you, she silently pleaded. She wanted to go with him, wanted to believe they were really a team. That she wouldn’t be left alone again.
“Miss me, think of me.”
“I will.” She missed him already. If he’d ask her, she would… but that didn’t make sense. His friend needed him and the shop needed her.
“I’ll only be gone over night. Joy, but you?”
“I’ll be okay.” Eventually. It wouldn’t be over night. Joy knew illness. Her dad… No, Tyler would be gone forever. She’d be forgotten. Her wants, her needs taking a back seat to others’. “You go, take care of Ken.”
“You sure?” He reached for her but she turned away, unable to bear his touch.
“You need to get dressed.” The pain was too intense for more talking. “We have to get to the airport.”
~ * ~
Tyler had sounded weary on the phone. He told her again and again how he wished she were there. She wished to be there. She should be there. By his side. She should have spoken up. Because what she selfishly wanted, he wanted also, and by denying herself, she had denied him.
“You’re not eating. You don’t like the turkey?”
Joy blinked, having forgotten she wasn’t alone. “It’s fine, Mom.” She poked at the food on her plate.
“It’s a little dry, isn’t it? I tried this new kind and-“
“I’m not hungry.” She made a sad face in her mashed potatoes.
The napkin in her mother’s hand twisted. “You sick?”
“No, no,” Joy set the fork down, hastening to reassure her. “I’m as healthy as a horse.”
A sad smile back. “That’s what your father used to say.”
And he had died. Silence filled the small dining room, Joy never knowing the words, the actions to take the pain away.
“I got on tv,” she offered as a distraction. “Got some free airtime for All American.” Thanks to Tyler. What was he-
“That’s good.”
“It is.” Joy continued with the forced conversation. “Tomorrow should be a busy day.”
“Enough for you and the girls to handle?”
Oh, lord, she hadn’t thought of that. “I don’t know.” But she did. If the press was effective, they couldn’t. The lines, her regular customers, the…
“I’m not doing anything tomorrow.”
This admission stunned Joy. “What are you saying?” It almost sounded like an offer. Almost. She tilted her head, studying her mom.
“I know you want to do everything yourself, Joy, but-“
“I never wanted to.” Never. She did everything herself by default. Because her mom had been busy with her dad and after that with dealing with the grief.
“I thought you did.” Her mom shrugged her slight shoulders. “You didn’t ask me to help.” Accusation underlined the words.
“I didn’t think I needed to.” Shouldn’t a mother know? Shouldn’t a lover know? Shouldn’t Tyler?
A laugh. “I’m not a mind reader, Joy.”
She wasn’t. Tyler wasn’t. Put that way, her expectations did sound foolish. “You really wanted to help?”
“Of course.” A bob of gray curls. “Who wouldn’t? After those funny stories you’d tell me about the muffin shop with the different characters and-“
“You wanted to help me.” Joy couldn’t absorb that revelation. “All these years and,” she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, “you wanted to help.”
“Of course, Joy, and I knew one day you’d need me. And you do, don’t you?” Joy nodded. “I won’t let you down, I promise. I memorized all the muffins and the pricing and-”
Her mom bubbled with enthusiasm, over helping her, her. What Joy always wanted. Her mom by her side.
It gave her hope. When Tyler returned, Joy was going to ask for what she wanted. From him. She would tell him yes.
If he returned.
And if he didn’t, that was what she’d ask for.
***
Part 8 will be available December 23rd.
